Our Ladies' Bible Study group met today. As you may recall, we are working through For Women Only: The Bible Study by Shaunti Feldhahn. We all knew today would be interesting. This week we studied God's word regarding our intimate, physical relationship with our husbands and the differences in how men and women view this important element of marriage. I know, I know...you're thinking that all men want is s**, all they think about is s**, can't they ever think about anything else, etc., etc. But what Shaunti points out is that yes, men do think about s** frequently...but not in the way we think they do.
Have you ever noticed that you think you know what your man is thinking or feeling? Granted, we may intuit things about our men and we do come to learn about their inner workings as we journey together with them through marriage. However, one thing that really hit me this week is that we women tend to think that our men think about things the same way/in the same frame that we do. But they don't. As Shaunti pointed out, it is being DESIRED that our men really crave. They need the nurture and confidence that our desire for them communicates. This concept is a new one that the Lord has revealed to me in several venues over the last months. And as one of the ladies so directly put it in our discussion today, "[Our husbands] aren't really all that different from us." We just communicate our needs differently, frame our references differently, and define terms differently. My man wants to be needed and wanted by me, too. He just has a different expression of this deep need. And of course, we must remember that the focus of this study is decidedly one-sided...HIS side. We're learning to focus our attention on the gift the Lord has given us in our spouse.
Our concluding exercise was to listen to the song Fly by Sara Groves. What a song! After we listened we all agreed that those words are HEART MELTERS for us. Our leader challenged us to spend a few minutes thinking about and then writing what our husband's "heart melters" would be.
Here are the lyrics to Sara Groves' song:
Speak in a summer tone
Pause in the after glow
Tenderly whisper my name
Tell me once again why I am your bride
So I can fly
So I can fly
Pause in your busy day
Look extra long my way
Wink at me across the room
Kiss me longer
Touch my arm when I am by your side
So I can fly
So I can fly
Oh how the little things
Strengthen my tiny wings
Help me to take on the world
When you love me there's nothing I wouldn't try
I might even fly
I might even fly
I might even fly
Several of the ladies in our group shared their responses to our exercise...what the Lord gave them as their husband's "heart melters." I was blessed to tears...first by the bravery of the women who shared and second by the rawness and tenderness of the longings expressed. I'm not ready yet to share what I wrote, especially in this very public forum. But I'm pondering the words I penned and asking the Lord to clarify and enrich them. My heart's desire is to truly be DH's heart melter.
That pure passion that Creator God planned for usin marriage is a Gift. It's time for us to reclaim that gift from the enemy of our souls. It's time we enjoy the treasure hidden in these earthly vessels. It's time we walk in Belief and Freedom and prepare ourselves to meet our eternal Bridegroom. HE is our ultimate heart melter.
Endnote: If I could figure out how, I'd insert the actual song so you could HEAR it...it's lovely. The extra effort to "google" it yourself will be worthwhile!
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6 comments:
Hey Amy,
This hardly seems the post to leave this particular comment but I will anyway. I have something to share with you on my blog. Come visit when you have a minute.
After I think about what you have written I may come back and write something that actually relates to what you have here.
Kate
Amy,
I found your blog through Kate's. Excellent food for thought! And I do also love the structure of your blog--especially the alliteration. :)
Be blessed!
Faith
Powerful, post. I have got to get that book!!
You're right, that song is awesome. Reading those lyrics brought tears. So powerful. Thanks for sharing.
Love you lady!
steph.
You know, I wonder if the reason that this is such an issue in our marriages today is because of impurity prior to marriage. I have often thought that there might be a correlation in my own marriage.
Kate
I totally agree, Kate. In fact I brought this up in our discussion at Bible Study. It's one area that Shaunti doesn't address at all in the study. I think that's because the focus of the study is understanding our husbands. Is it possible that the baggage isn't just as heavy for them? I, like you, believe there is a definite correlation in my marriage.
Amy
Amy,
Great insights! I too want to be my husband's heartmelter and him to be mine. That issue of impurity needs to be addressed head on. It needs to be talked about so we can do the right thing. I do think it has lasting consequences. So glad you Bible study is going well!
Love you girl!
Ang
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